Sunday, August 18, 2013

Day 14 of 365: Have Your Shit Together

Oh, look at that, you're like something out of a Taylor Swift song. Happy, free, confused, and lonely. At the same time! Look at that. Miserable and magical. Ain't that cute.

Oh, you met that dude at a party? He seems really nice, pretty into you. Oh, it's just a casual thing? You just want to hook up with him? Until he seems to lose interest, at which point you'll realize you're madly in love with him? Or until something magically changes and he becomes the man of your dreams and you get married and live happily ever after? I see. Congratulation. This is a healthy way of going about relationships and I know it will end wonderfully for you.

No money to pay off loans or rent, but all the money in the world to go out multiple times a night. You knew you shouldn't have bought that outfit, but you couldn't help it? That's okay, you can wear it while you concoct your unique and amazing meal made out of exotic, organic, overpriced food (food that you've been charging to your credit card and paying the minimum monthly payments on).

You got blackout drunk on a Wednesday and have to go to work with sunglasses on? You can barely type an email, let alone get your project in order? How professional. I'm proud of you.

You have a job you hate, in a field you care nothing about, with roommates that can't bother to replace the toilet paper. But that's okay. Thirty is the new twenty. This period of your life doesn't count. So do whatever you want. No regrets, YOLO, etc, etc.

You're crying at work yet again because your ex sent you a message with a smiley face? Here, let me completely decipher it for you. Don't like my decoding? Feel free to unload every emotion onto my plate. Because as I, too, am still living somewhere between my high school and college years, and have no worries or responsibilities, and can therefore take whatever you can dish out.

No, wait, I can't. Because I'm an adult. And so are you.

It's not Bohemic. It's not quirky. It's immature. It's exhausting.

Taylor Swift can talk about how fun and confusing being a twentysomething is, because Taylor Swift is a millionaire and can wear hipster clothing and get into unhealthy relationships and go out on random nights. But guess who still goes to all her interviews, all her press dates, all her scheduled tour stops. You're technically being even more immature than Taylor Swift. That's really saying something.

*I should point out that this is in no way directed at anyone. I just felt like ranting about the general "thirty is the new twenty" mindset and how it isn't cute to be a manic pixie dream girl wannabe. And I felt like using the second person today.

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