Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Day 108 of 365: What's My Age Again?

I forget my age. A lot.

In a way, that's probably a good thing. People who obsess over that stupid number are wasting away their lives, especially since it's not the years, but what has happened in those years, that shapes or "ages" a person.

I say this because I've been talking a lot about future plans. I mention where I'd be this time next year and, at first, I'm shocked. I'm just this kid and a year is going to pass by very quickly. And then I remember: this time next year, I'll be well into 28.

Gen X is perpetually 28 in my eyes, even though the first section of Gen X is well into their 40s (and, depending on who you talk to, in their 50s as well). People born in the 90s are perpetually in elementary school. I am on, bare minimum, a 3-year lag when it comes to my age.

I've learned that almost everyone crosses a certain threshold and are shocked by how old they are. And the incredulity never really goes away. It just gets more shocking as you get older. I was reading an article about a 80-year-old war veteran who still feels like he just returned from war.

When I was 24, I was blown away that all the big celebrities (all the big 'grown-up' celebrities) were my age or younger. And, now that I'm 27, I'm blown away by all the big 'adult' things people my age do. Starting businesses and raising families and climbing the social/business ladder.

Meanwhile I quit my guaranteed job in the education field and started juggling tai chi teaching, modeling, and writing. One pays (in total) meagerly, one pays sporadically, and the other doesn't pay at all (for now, hopefully).

But a lack of age-awareness does bring a lack of worry when it comes to this stage in my life. If I really focused on the fact that I'm 27 and without a full-time job, I'd probably cave and find the nearest administrative assistant job out there. Instead, I get to contact studios and dojos to see if I can add on to my classes, I get to go to go-sees for big names (who, 9.9 times out of 10 reject me. But when they don't...), and I get to write. I get to finish my third manuscript and find outlets for my essays and hopefully build up enough experience and confidence and audience to finally, finally, finally sell a manuscript.

The only drawback is that, if I do ever land that Big Commercial Gig that sets my modeling career soaring, or if I do ever sell a manuscript, the world hasn't forgotten my age. Sadly, there are few things a 27-year-old can do that people will marvel at. You're too old to really surprise people for anything, aside from running for president (because, y'know, age restrictions and whathaveyou...)

So I'll just keep on keeping on, humming the Blink 182 song, and hoping that people will still like you when you're 27 and you leave your job to "find yourself".

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