Thursday, November 28, 2013

Day 116 of 365: Gratitude

I'm grateful that I had such a rough teaching career, because it taught me to be tougher and more assertive. It taught me when to stand up for myself and when to stay under the radar. I gained a bigger respect for those who can stay in the teaching field. It gave me teachers to commiserate with. It showed me where my limits are. It showed me where I need to be more patient and understanding. It also showed me when you just need to walk away.

I'm grateful that I had a nasty dating life. I'm grateful for the high school boyfriend who dumped me before junior prom. I'm grateful for the freshman-year pseudo-relationship that drained me of most of my emotions. I'm grateful that I got stood up and cheated on and dumped for the ex-girlfriend. If those shitty relationships had never taken place, I probably would never have met my husband. I would've been in an all right relationship with someone I wasn't really compatible with (but who realizes that when they're in puppy love?) Or, worse, I would've never left my hometown at all, opting to stay with whatever high school boyfriend that treated me right.

I'm grateful that I didn't take off as a writer when I wish I had. Because I'm learning something new about my skill every day. I'm slowly but surely getting just a little better at storytelling and character development and dialogue and conflict. I'm slowly but surely finding a little more insight on grammar and syntax and sentence structure. And it will make it all worthwhile when I finally sell a manuscript.

I'm grateful that I didn't have the easiest upbring in the world. Because it taught me self-reliance and independent thought. It showed me that you are not restricted to the man and the woman you get your respective halves of DNA from when it comes to guidance and love and support. It taught me understanding and empathy. It helped me realize how flawed we are as humans, even when our intentions are good.

I'm grateful for every little thing that has gone awry, because I wouldn't be where I am today without it. Nothing ever has to be 100% negative.

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