Sunday, June 15, 2014

Day 314 of 365: It's Okay to Not Say "Best Father A Girl Can Ask For"

It's that time again: another parental holiday. On Mother's Day, Facebook and Twitter and Instagram became flooded with posts proclaiming a happy Mother's Day to the "best mother a girl can ask for!" And now we're at Father's Day, which means we'll get more of the same.

First off, I find that to be a little disingenuous. I am physically capable of asking for a lot. I could ask for a billionaire father who is fluent in 20 languages, travels the world, fights dragons, and buys me a pony for every birthday. In fact, I could ask for all of that and still have the innate capability of saying the phrase, "But can I have a father who is also Batman?"

And then there's the sincerity behind that comment. For every person who genuinely feels like they had the best father a person can have, there must be five or six people who will verbatim post that same line because people tend to side-eye you funny if you say, "Happy Father's Day to that guy who clumsily tried to raise a child in an ever-changing society!"

Is my father the best a girl can ask for? Even when you factor out the chance to ask for billions of dollars, ponies, dragon-fighting skills, and -- of course -- the ability to be Batman, I could definitely ask for more. And people who know me personally would nod their heads in agreement. But if I did get to ask for a few changes here and there for my father, I probably wouldn't be the person that I am today. Whether a different version of me would be an upgrade or not is irrelevant. I like who I am and where I am and I've watched enough of that shitty Butterfly Effect movie to recognize that even the tiniest things factor in greatly.

So I say happy father's day to a man whose intentions were good. Happy Father's Day to a man who did everything within his power to raise his daughter to be a productive citizen in this world. Happy Father's Day to a man who loves to his absolute maximum capability. Happy Father's Day to a man who really, at the end of the day, only wants what is best for his children, whatever that "best" might actually be.

Heaven knows that, when I have kids, I won't be the best mom they could ask for. And I'd feel like they're intentionally being hyperbolic if they said otherwise. But I do hope to go forth with those good intentions, to do everything I can to raise them right, to love them with all of my heart and soul, and to pray that they see that I only want what is best for them.

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