Sunday, January 5, 2014

Day 153 of 365: Scared as all Getout

Yesterday's class was a success. I found that, even though it took a second large iced coffee to keep me awake, the all-day class went by pretty swimmingly. I like my teacher's sense of humor, and I like that my favorite instructor (who is also the owner of the studio) is right alongside her as a bit of an assistant. I really enjoyed learning everything from what constitutes and assist versus an adjustment to learning the ins-and-outs of a proper sun salutation. The course is exactly my cup of tea: I'm a vinyasa yoga lover who toes into ashtanga yoga every once in a while, and this class teaches yoga in a vinyasa format (with slight emphasis on ashtanga).

Today, we all have to lead a sun salutation as if we were a teacher. In April, we have to lead a 15-minute class. Before August, we have to log yea-many hours teaching hour-long classes (in community settings, like a rec center, etc, for either dirt cheap or free, aka "practicum"). Our teacher mentioned this and we all latched onto it, talking about when we had to do what and by when. She shifted the class discussion, saying that we can worry about that in April. She then said, "Besides, who hears this and gets nervous about teaching?"

And my hand was raised.

It's a frightening prospect for me. Shit, teaching tai chi still is frightening for me. In a way, I'm thankful one studio closed and another took me in, because it meant starting over and learning from my mistakes. I'm nervous as all getout to teach yoga, if only because it's another brand new chapter, another thing I have absolutely no idea how to do.

But that's how you get it done. That's how you figure out where your limits are. I take pride in the fact that I step out of my comfort zone and, by doing so, expand that comfort zone, giving me a little more space to do what I please. I'm nervous and scared to go out and teach yoga (not just as practicum, but in real life, post-graduation), but I'm ready to face said fear.

And now, I'm off to zoom to class before I'm too late.

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