Sunday, February 2, 2014

Day 181 of 365: You Are Here for a Reason

"You are experiencing exactly what you need to experience right now. You are here for a reason. Things are happening to you right now so you can learn from them."

I sometimes cringe at yoga philosophy. I've already gone into detail about how I tend to tune out about peace on Earth and life without struggle. But I'm almost always in agreement with the philosophies discussed during yoga class. It helps that I vibe so well with the group as a whole (the instructor reminds me of a grown-up version of my bridesmaid from New York, but that's for another time). But, really, if there were ever a time for me to be in this class, this is it.

I've discussed at length the emotional fallout from leaving the teaching world. While it opened a lot of doors for me, it has left me with a lot of uncertainty. An uncertainty that has only worsened as a yoga studio I worked under went out of business, a karate dojo gave me the runaround, the modeling world is in a winter slump, and I've yet to actually sell a manuscript.

"Embrace the uncertainty. Uncertainty means you are living life in the moment, without plan, without attachment to the outcome."

I ran my first sun salutation yesterday for the class. We've been upping the ante when it comes to learning about anatomy and adjustments. Today, I got a turn to be assistant yoga teacher, helping adjust a student during a small sequence. I got to talk about me being a tai chi instructor and how I use what I learn in class to help shape my classes better.

"Do not concern yourself with what minor details are considered 'wrong'. It is not 'wrong' to eat meat. It is not 'wrong' to leave your bed unmade. What is important is the intent behind your actions."

This is where I am meant to be. That feeling I got in September when I cut out of yoga class before the training info session is in the same vein as the feeling I get when I chat with my fellow students before class. It's the same feeling when I learn something new about the spine, or the abdominal muscles, or proper sequencing. And while there are certain things that still poke at the demons from my past, something akin to trying to go out into the dating world again after a nasty and drawn-out divorce (something I might get into tomorrow), I am confident that this is the right path for me right now.

I am exactly where I need to be, right here, and right now. These are the exact things that need to happen in my life to teach me what I need to learn.

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