Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Day 184 of 365: Take It Easy

For the last two weeks, I've had this linger fatigue/achiness. It wasn't enough to fully cancel class or heat up the chicken noodle soup, but it was enough to affect how I went about my day-to-day life. I was frustrated over how tired I was getting, frustrating over the aches and chills I would get after a minor yoga practice. I said to myself, "If I am getting a cold, just give me a fucking cold. None of this pseudo-sick bullshit."

Be careful what you wish for.

Maybe it was because the weekend was super busy, what with two day-long class sessions for teacher training, with UFC169 on Saturday and the Super Bowl. I got a whopping three hours of sleep between Saturday and Sunday. But, either way, I woke up on Monday feel like someone had hit me with a Mac truck. My sinuses were filled past maximum capacity. My throat felt like sand paper. It felt like there was sponge in my alveoli, making it impossible to breathe. I had a low-grade fever and about 50% working capacity.

It's now Wednesday and there has yet to be any improvement. I'm frustrated beyond all measure: with the contest under two weeks away, I need all my brain power and energy to edit, edit, edit. And instead, I'm staring at the screen like I'm reading Greek. All I can do is look at everything and berate the situation, berate that I've spent the last two weeks muddling through editing, only to have the situation worsen.

I think one of the worst things I ever could do as Type A personality was work at companies where calling out sick wasn't really an option. There's a horrific irony that childcare centers -- which are right up there with pediatrician's offices in terms of germs -- have some of the worst policies when it comes to sick day (and sick pay). When I wasn't being guilt-tripped into coming in anyway because they were already short-staffed, I was weighing just how "sick" I had to be to deserve getting a dock in pay (since sick days do not exist for a good chunk of ECE teachers; just "vacation pay" that we can use in place).

That only reaffirmed my attitude that I should feel bad that I, well, feel bad. Being sick isn't a natural phenomenon that you treat by taking it easy. Being sick is a nasty impediment that should be ignored or squashed.

But, really, I have no choice but to take it easy. I'm not going to stop myself from wishing I could be up and doing stuff, but I can redirect it into getting caught up on my favorite TV shows (I have about 20 Late Late Show episodes DVRed and waiting for me) and maybe just glancing over some of my writing so I don't feel like I'm falling too far behind.

Besides, the more I try to fight it, the longer it's going to last. So, really, the most proactive thing I can do is nothing at all and let my white blood cells get down to business.

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