Saturday, March 22, 2014

Day 229 of 365: Not a Choice (Again)

Confession time, everyone: I absolutely hate calling people on the phone.

I have to have known you for years upon years before I'm an even close to being comfortable calling you on the phone. And, even then, I naturally try to communicate with people a thousand other different ways, using the phone as a last resort. You could say that it's part of my generation, but I beg to differ: I was this way long before emails, text messages (and especially tweets) were ever a thing.

And yet, even with this weird phone aversion, I worked for four years as a teacher, which required many, many, many phone calls. Especially when I worked in the nursery wing with the one- and two-year-olds, where, every day, kids went home with some type of fever or bug.

And I handled it, never once trying to shirk off my telephone duties to my co-teacher. And why? Because it was simply not a choice.

I was talking with my husband today about the upcoming week, and how there are a few phone calls I need to make. He joked that I have to start preparing myself now for when the workweek starts and I have to pick up the phone. And I responded:

"Actually, I'll be okay."

As I've mentioned before, I'm not this superwoman type of person who is just naturally self-motivating. I'm simply someone who appreciates results and can convincingly tell herself that "it's not a choice".

It's not a choice to call a parent when a child is sick. It's not a choice to pick up the phone when talking to a complete stranger makes me want to run and hide. It's not a choice to lace up my shoes and go for a run. It's not a choice to do another Spanish lesson. It's not a choice to write another page for my manuscript, even when I'm still trying to get my spirits back up after the ABNA.

And maybe I'm lucky in that I can look at something that can very well be a choice -- I don't have to do anything of that stuff; the consequences would suck, but it's still a choice -- and tell myself that the option to opt out isn't available. But I think that's something everyone can do: it's not a choice to avoid copious amounts of junk food. It's not a choice to do your taxes. It's not a choice to vacuum the living room. It's not a choice to get your reading done.

Which, by the way, is what I need to do immediately after this. I have been getting into a bad habit of saving my most technical yoga reading (aka the most difficult to slog through). Maybe it's time to remind myself that "it's not a choice" to read about anatomy.

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